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newsthump.com

The voters didn’t back us because we still let trans people use the toilet of their choosing, insist angry Tories...

...With the Tories having already lost almost 200 seats, and with a... ...colleagues it’s not too late to support my plan, and I will explain to Rishi...

newsthump.com

DIY SOS team arrives at Manchester Co-op Live Arena

...arena bosses breathed a huge sigh of relief this morning as Nick Knowles... ...Speaking earlier,  presenter Knowles told us “They really need our...

newsthump.com

Britain’s Got Talent singer with four-minute, tragic video package turns out to be shit

...producer Simon Williams.... ...Hayley Rice, 19, auditioned for the show and was brought as far as... ...Hayley said, “I’m just happy to have got this far, I’ve had a lovely... ...“Honestly, if we’d known she was a shit singer, we still would have...

newsthump.com

Colleagues rally round Tory MP Hannibal Lector following cannibalism revelations

...and fellow Tory MP Geoff Chutney.... ...The Tory MP Hannibal Lector, who has found himself at the centre... ...possible damage is done, they’ll finally remove the whip from Lector... ...“People are simply not interested in whether or not Hannibal is a...

newsthump.com

Brave patriot highlights his love of country and St George by hurling traffic cone at policeman

...Lovers of St George have gathered in London to express their patriotism... ..., those keenest to express their love of St George chose to articulate...

newsthump.com

‘I just don’t trust any jab’, insists woman who happily injects literal poison into her forehead every six months...

newsthump.com

Man quietly sings ‘fuck you I won’t do what you tell me’ whilst putting jam on his scone first

...Local Rebel Simon Williams is channelling the spirit of anti-authoritarian... ...I’m a free-thinker, a maverick. I’m here to shake things up.”... ...Critics argue that Simon’s revolutionary stance could lead to anarchy... ...However, the day did not end well for Williams after he was cornered...

newsthump.com

Man who hates the concept of ‘self-identification’ delighted that Rwanda has self-identified as ‘safe’...

...Rwanda says it’s safe, so it must be true.... ...and asylum seekers, Williams’ views take a sharp turn.... ...Dr Simon Matthews, a sociologist specialising in political cognitive... ...“And now we have a Bill that says it is safe, which makes it the...

newsthump.com

Oppressed English forced to meet in hidden underground locations to safely wish each other a happy Saint George’s Day...

...“So here we are,” said noble patriot, Simon Williams, the candlelight... ...Happy Turkish Soldier Day....

newsthump.com

Successful Earth Day campaign delays inevitable global catastrophe, by a day

...said Londoner Dave Smith, 42.... ..., Simon Williams....