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News
Tips For Karaoke
1+ day, 17+ hour ago (163+ words) Whether you’re out on the town or throwing a cozy event at home, karaoke can be a fun and cathartic group activity. The Onion shares tips for your next karaoke night. Hold the microphone one to two inches into your…...
Bestselling Beach Reads
1+ day, 17+ hour ago (381+ words) The Onion selects the best books to take on vacation this year. Explore the list in detail What’s it like being married to an astronaut? Probably more intense than the life of protagonist Molly, whose husband flies a regional jet....
Everyone In Oval Office Meeting Currently In Some Stage Of Stroke
1+ day, 17+ hour ago (124+ words) The post Everyone In Oval Office Meeting Currently In Some Stage Of Stroke appeared first on The Onion. Loud Friend Makes Loud Point Study: Majority Of Americans Out Of Step With America Gathering Of Pigeons Shown Who Is Boss Report:…...
Dugout Floor Covered In Spat-Out Clamshells
1+ day, 17+ hour ago (120+ words) The post Dugout Floor Covered In Spat-Out Clamshells appeared first on The Onion. Loud Friend Makes Loud Point Study: Majority Of Americans Out Of Step With America Gathering Of Pigeons Shown Who Is Boss Report: Every Goddamn Light In The…...
One-Week Sober Man Thought All Problems Would Be Fixed By Now
1+ day, 17+ hour ago (113+ words) The Onion Loud Friend Makes Loud Point Study: Majority Of Americans Out Of Step With America Gathering Of Pigeons Shown Who Is Boss Report: Every Goddamn Light In The House On Dubai Revealed To Be A Mirage Third Grade Teacher…...
The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With Zendaya
2+ day, 14+ hour ago (183+ words) With her roles in the current and upcoming blockbusters The Odyssey, Spider-Man: Brand New Day, and Dune: Part Three, Zendaya is having a banner year. The Onion sat down with the star to discuss what’s new and what’s next. The…...
Law Roach Asks Store Associate If She Has Tom Holland In Different Size
2+ day, 14+ hour ago (114+ words) The Onion Loud Friend Makes Loud Point Study: Majority Of Americans Out Of Step With America Gathering Of Pigeons Shown Who Is Boss Report: Every Goddamn Light In The House On Dubai Revealed To Be A Mirage Third Grade Teacher…...
Tate Brothers Arrested In Florida
2+ day, 17+ hour ago (78+ words) Influencers Andrew and Tristan Tate were arrested in Florida on rape and sex trafficking charges and now face potential extradition to the U.K. What do you think? “I thought Florida was an alpha male sanctuary state.” “Will this affect their home…...
‘I Was Once A Normal Little Boy Like You,’ Disney World Donald Duck Warns Terrified Child
2+ day, 17+ hour ago (254+ words) ORLANDO, FL—In what eyewitnesses described as a deeply disturbing and totally unhinged interaction, a Disney World Donald Duck reportedly warned a terrified child Thursday that he was once a normal little boy. “I may look like a silly anthropomorphic…...
‘That’s All I’m Saying,’ Repeats Man Who Keeps Saying More Stuff
2+ day, 17+ hour ago (126+ words) The post ‘That’s All I’m Saying,’ Repeats Man Who Keeps Saying More Stuff appeared first on The Onion. Loud Friend Makes Loud Point Study: Majority Of Americans Out Of Step With America Gathering Of Pigeons Shown Who Is Boss Report:…...