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World Cup was only thing stopping me head-butting some prick, confesses Maguire
2+ day, 10+ hour ago (198+ words) Follow our new Facebook page to get your fix of Mash" Forecasts of a bank holiday heatwave have thousands planning evenings in the garden, days at theme parks and picnics in the country that will be ruined by gnats, wasps…...
Boyfriend subject to hour-long monologue about need for more communication
2+ day, 15+ hour ago (227+ words) Follow our new Facebook page to get your fix of Mash" A MAN has nodded through a 60-minute monologue from his girlfriend on how they need to sit down and have a proper talk about their relationship. Browne said: "She…...
Dad adds pizza oven to outdoor cooking wank bank
2+ day, 12+ hour ago (248+ words) Follow our new Facebook page to get your fix of Mash" A MAN who already has a top of the range barbecue is giving a new outdoor cooking appliance the eye while lasciviously licking his lips." 48-year-old Julian Cook, who…...
VR headsets, and other technologies you got bored of after 20 minutes
2+ day, 15+ hour ago (524+ words) Follow our new Facebook page to get your fix of Mash" ONCE it was the next big thing, now you can't even Freecycle it. Were you one of the visionaries who bought a piece of the future that turned out…...
Britons planning to enjoy heat have forgotten about insects
2+ day, 14+ hour ago (416+ words) Follow our new Facebook page to get your fix of Mash" Forecasts of a bank holiday heatwave have thousands planning evenings in the garden, days at theme parks and picnics in the country that will be ruined by gnats, wasps…...
The Archbishop of Canterbury on" World Cup 2026: good luck getting that trophy back
2+ day, 15+ hour ago (649+ words) Follow our new Facebook page to get your fix of Mash" WAKING with a hangover so excruciating my eyeballs are hanging from their sockets, I drink a tank of water, spitting out the goldfish, and check the progress of my…...
Net migration never mattered to serious voters. That's just a left-wing lie
3+ day, 11+ hour ago (652+ words) Follow our new Facebook page to get your fix of Mash" By Abigail Pennson, our reasonable, plain-speaking middle-class columnist who saw Andy Burnham rimming the devil "NET migration has fallen!" trumpets this desperate, collapsing government. As if it matters. As…...
Past-it old bastard referring to you both as 'people our age"
3+ day, 15+ hour ago (555+ words) Follow our new Facebook page to get your fix of Mash" AN old and decrepit man is under the mistaken impression that you and he are contemporaries. While talking to friends and acquaintances at social events, Martin Bishop has been…...
I am the seagull who shat on the King, and it was a multi-layered republican critique
3+ day, 16+ hour ago (528+ words) Follow our new Facebook page to get your fix of Mash" AS a seagull, my existence is inherently political. Consequently I have developed a radical consciousness that speaks truth to power and that is why I shat on the King....
Six reality TV ideas that didn't make anyone say 'Actually let's not do this"
3+ day, 18+ hour ago (119+ words) Follow our new Facebook page to get your fix of Mash" SERIOUS allegations are hanging over Channel 4s Married at First Sight, but its not the first reality show to see nothing wrong with engineering appalling situations. Like these: Theres Something…...
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