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News
Bibby Stockholm: the welcoming speech in full
17+ hour, 1+ min ago (267+ words) 'I would like to extend the hand of friendship to our 500 new neighbours in their temporary home moored such a short distance from the mainland they have struggled so hard to reach. I would also wish that all 427 of them…...
Trump to bomb Oman, but in a good way
21+ hour, 55+ min ago (178+ words) The whole Strait of Hormuz thing is a massive, horrible mess, and it makes Donald Trump look like a LOSER. Which is pretty much the worst thing that could possibly happen, and threatens his re-election for a glorious third term....
FIFA to introduce 256 team World Cup
1+ day, 18+ hour ago (276+ words) After the 'overwhelming success of our 48 team World Cup', FIFA have announced that future tournaments will consist of 256 teams. FIFA Head, Geniuso Infinitissimo, stated he was aware that there were fewer than 256 associations within FIFA but that a bigger tournament…...
New Chancellor announces plan to tax mud
1+ day, 20+ hour ago (307+ words) John Healey's first announcement as Chancellor is that he is introducing a tax on mud. A statement explained, 'I have long been concerned by the inequality of mud throughout the UK, the wealthy have a lot of it and those…...
Great Train Robbery 'Just an honest mistake"
2+ day, 19+ hour ago (143+ words) Great Train Robbery 'Just an honest mistake' NewsBiscuit A Public Enquiry into The Great Train Robbery has concluded that Ronnie Biggs and his friends 'inadvertently' took bags filled with cash believing them to be their own suitcases. Britain’s Special Envoy…...
Anticipating the meeting of the 't-shirt Premiers"
2+ day, 22+ hour ago (9+ words) Anticipating the meeting of the 't-shirt Premiers' NewsBiscuit...
Trump signs 'genius' nuclear armageddon deal with Saudi Arabia
2+ day, 22+ hour ago (245+ words) Hot upon the heels of turning the entire Middle East into a war zone by attacking Iran at Israel's behest, Donald Trump has agreed to give Saudi Arabia all the equipment it needs to refine material for an atomic bomb....
It's all pay after British PMs embarrassed their alma mater
3+ day, 22+ hour ago (11+ words) NewsBiscuit...
Electricians reject Burnham's 'circuit breaker' idea
3+ day, 23+ hour ago (261+ words) NewsBiscuit Electricians have poured cold water - never a good idea when electricity is involved - on the new Prime Minister's call for a 'circuit breaker' for the entire country. 'It's just not practical,' said Des from Bromley, while putting in a…...