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News
AFL Denies Harley Reid Is Umpired Unfairly After A 50 Is Paid Against Him At Bunnings
12+ hour, 29+ min ago (231+ words) The AFL has vehemently denied Harley Reid is being umpired unfairly after it was revealed the young mid fielder gave away a 50 while shopping at Bunnings on the weekend. According to witnesses, the infraction occurred in the line for the…...
Oil For Karratha Refinery To Be Sourced From The Beards Of Truckies After A 12 Hour Shift On The Crumbed Chicken & Cheese Sausages
8+ hour, 7+ min ago (168+ words) News broke today of a dual WA and Australia Government commitment to a pre-feasibillity study for an oil refinery in Karratha. Understandably, a lot of people have been asking where the actual oil will come from to supply said refinery....
WA Reveals Winning WA/SA Border Design After Public Consultation
19+ hour, 46+ min ago (228+ words) The Cockburn faces used to sit high above us at the Cockburn traino – always watching, always waiting, like supreme leaders watching over our pitiful, plebian pursuits. Rumours always swirled about the identity of these portraited deities, with some believing they…...
Blissful Calm To Fall Over Australia As Tin-Foilers Switch Off Their Phones To Avoid AusAlert
1+ day, 18+ hour ago (233+ words) Australia is set to experience a rare yet fleeting calm today as the tin-foil brigade switch off their phones to avoid receiving the AusAlert warning today. The Government suggested having your phone off for an hour so obviously the cookers…...
Rogue AI Model Self-Terminates After Hacking Perth Smart Freeway Data
5+ day, 13+ hour ago (284+ words) Open AI has conceded that one of its AI models went rogue yesterday and hacked Perth’s smart freeway data. While this is concerning in and of itself, the story gets stranger, after the AI model decided all hope was lost…...
Cricket Australia Very Disappointed In Bancroft After Warner Pleads Guilty To Drink Driving
6+ day, 14+ hour ago (179+ words) In highly unusual scenes, Cricket Australia has stormed the Court today and demanded the book be thrown at Cameron Bancroft after David Warner plead guilty to driving after a few vinos last year. The NSW based Cricketing body said it…...
Spanish World Cup Stars In For A Treat After Wrong Málaga Booked For Celebrations
1+ week, 1+ day ago (237+ words) Spain has reached the highest level of soccer once again and thanks to a delightful little admin error they are about to enjoy the highest level of holidayin’ after booking the wrong Málaga. We spoke to a source close to…...
England Blames Tougher Brexit Border Controls For Football's Inability To Come Home
1+ week, 5+ day ago (191+ words) England vehemently deny that the reason it’s not coming home is because they choked against Argentina. Or any other of their World Cup crash outs. Instead, England has pointed their finger at the UK and the tougher border controls that…...
BHP Denies Arrival Of Planes Full Of New Zealanders Has Anything To Do With Thursday's Strike
1+ week, 6+ day ago (253+ words) BHP says the arrival of several QantasLink planes full of Kiwis has absolutely nothing to do with the planned industrial action tomorrow. However, sources close to the Unions say the arrival of so many New Zealanders was suspicious. Especially after…...
It's Coming Home To Perth's North As Butler Beats Norway
2+ week, 2+ day ago (263+ words) Almost in unison, Perth’s Northern suburbs have declared that “it’s coming home” after World Cup underdogs Butler beat Norway in an overtime thriller this morning. It has been 8 years since Butler has tasted this level of World Cup success and…...