News
Which Founding Father Are You?
2+ hour, 31+ min ago (7+ words) Are you George, Alexander, Thomas, or Ben?...
The US Constitution Is for Simple Folk Still Burdened by the Belief That Words Have Meaning
20+ hour, 31+ min ago (386+ words) Every serious legal mind must inevitably face a fundamental choice: Read the Constitution and apply its words as the bedrock laws of the land, or transcend its tired text and interpret the super-secret invisible version that tells you exactly what…...
July 4th - Mc Sweeney's Internet Tendency
22+ hour, 31+ min ago (13+ words) For dogs, there's no escape from fireworks'even in a bleak forest....
On the Historical Significance of the Male Low Ponytail
1+ day, 2+ hour ago (469+ words) Throughout American history, the male low ponytail has transformed ordinary men into leaders, shifting the outcomes of wars and upending cultural norms. Here, we explore the immense impact of this powerful hairstyle. 1776: Paul Revere's hair in a word? Revolutionary. These…...
My Gen-Z Sitcom - Mc Sweeney's Internet Tendency
1+ day, 21+ hour ago (606+ words) We are in a hip neighborhood that is like Williamsburg circa 2003. The roommates are a "three-person couple polycule," although in this case, there is no polyamory, because young people these days never have sex. TONY enters on his skateboard. He…...
Democrats Need to Win Back Voters by Becoming Republicans
2+ day, 3+ hour ago (392+ words) Sen. John Fetterman (D-Pa.) is offering a warning about the rise of a "dirtbag left" within the Democratic Party, a reference to candidates on the left who have run and won primaries while identifying themselves as democratic socialists." " The Hill…...
How to Hustle Like a Tech Founder
2+ day, 21+ hour ago (267+ words) Mind on the Grind Founders know how to grind. Grind on the job. Grind at the gym. Grind your spices in an authentic molcajete. Grind your own meat for a perfect blend of Chuck, Skirt, and Sirloin. Grind your teeth…...
Reviews of New Food: Bush's Rocket Pop Flavored Baked Beans
3+ day, 1+ hour ago (545+ words) A country known for its natural beauty, rugged individualism, and unhinged portion sizes. In celebration of the States" 250th birthday, Bush"s Beans dug deep within their bean-well to create the ultimate patriotic (pardon my French) accouterments: Rocket Pop Flavored Baked…...
The Proper Level of Enthusiasm for a Parent During Camp Dropoff
3+ day, 2+ hour ago (619+ words) Upon arriving at the bus stop, your sigh should be that of the wistful and forlorn, not like a convert stumbling upon God's holy grille. When the curious ask your dear camper's length of stay, "Eight weeks!" must glide out…...
To Solve the Housing Crisis, We Simply Need to Build More Homes (Just Not in My Town)
5+ day, 21+ hour ago (545+ words) I'm heartbroken that the housing needs of my fellow citizens are not being met at either the national or local level. It's especially upsetting when the solution is so simple: build more houses. But my town, just so you know,…...