News
Entire Democrat Party Placed On 'No Fly' List | Babylon Bee
58+ min ago (170+ words) U. S. " The Transportation Security Administration announced on Thursday that it had officially placed the entire Democratic Party on the No Fly List. After several Democratic Party members declared that America deserved the 9/11 attacks and Western civilization should be eradicated, TSA leaders…...
Sad: Woman Gives Birth On Border And Now Only Baby's Top Half Is American
2+ hour, 15+ min ago (30+ words) EL PASO, TX " Witnesses reported that a migrant woman gave birth right on the U. S. -Mexico border this morning, sadly making only the top half of the baby American....
Mom Threatens Kids With A Road Trip If They Don't Behave
1+ hour, 53+ min ago (31+ words) BIRMINGHAM, AL " A new technique for managing children was discovered this week, as local woman Sarah Bailey got her kids to behave by threatening them with a fun family road trip....
Absolutely Shredded Guy Reveals His Secret Is Water Aerobics
2+ hour, 41+ min ago (219+ words) ORLANDO, FL " After years of being admired for his absolutely shredded physique, local man Chris Kolaski finally revealed that his secret to looking like a Greek god was water aerobics. Kolaski attributed his 8-pack abs, bulging biceps, and chiseled torso…...
Mamdani Offers To Cool New Yorkers Down By Sending Them To Siberian Gulag
3+ hour, 46+ min ago (47+ words) NEW YORK, NY " Mayor Zohran Mamdani asked New Yorkers weathering the heatwave to keep their thermostats at a scorching 78 degrees so as not to tax the city's inadequate power grid. Still, Mamdani said he had other ways to cool down…...
Meet 7 Brave Trans Athletes Whose Dreams Were Crushed By The SCOTUS Ruling | Babylon Bee
22+ hour, 13+ min ago (623+ words) Brought to you by: Upward News Before the United States Supreme Court handed down its ruling that effectively banned trans athletes from competing in women's sports, a wide range of competitors were working toward achieving their lifelong dreams. Now, those…...
Rape Gang Busted In The UK For Illegal Air Conditioner Use
23+ hour, 31+ min ago (22+ words) LONDON " A rape gang was busted Wednesday after British police received an anonymous tip that they'd been illegally using an air conditioner....
Supergirl Unveils New Superpower Of Losing $100 Million In A Single Week
1+ day, 5+ min ago (33+ words) METROPOLIS " The public was once again amazed by one of its heroes in recent days, as Supergirl unveiled a new superpower, showing the awesome ability to lose $100 million in a single week....
Winning! Trump Now Rules Entire World As Supreme Court Declares Everyone Is American
1+ day, 1+ hour ago (219+ words) babylonbee. com Winning! Trump Now Rules Entire World As Supreme Court Declares Everyone Is American U. S. " People around the world celebrated the establishment of a new supreme leader, as President Donald Trump was confirmed to now rule the entire world after…...
Terrorist Torn Between Going On Violent Jihad Or Getting Elected As Democratic Senator
1+ day, 1+ hour ago (243+ words) NEW YORK CITY " According to sources, a radical Islamist terrorist felt torn between two possible career paths: leading the next violent jihad against the infidels or becoming a Democratic senator of the United States. Abdullah bin Khalid Al-Makki reportedly took…...